last weekend I went camping with a few friends to falcon lake and I checked off 2 things off my bucket list. I fell asleep under the stars by the river and I also went rope swinging off of a cliff. it was very scary at first and it took a long time for me to actually just off the cliff. I stood there for 5 mins pep talking myself!! it was very fun and the second time I did it was a breeze and I’m very glad I did it!!
i took my friend Haydn to see a women’s word cup game in Winnipeg yesterday! she had always wanted to go to one and she was disappointed she didn’t get tickets so I decided to get her some! we’ve both played soccer together for years and it was fun to share that experience together!
Visit Santorini
I’m planning a trip with my sister after I graduate next year to go to Greece! I want to go for two weeks and go to Greece but as well as go to different parts of Europe. We talked about it and since it’s still a year away, the details are fuzzy. I’m saving up my money now from my job and my tips that I make. I’m considering getting another job during the summer to make some extra money for the trip and so I’m not completely broke after. My coworker just came back from Greece and she said it was the best experience of her life and now I’m so much more excited! I want to check off all my dream destinations so hopefully Greece is just a start for me! I hope it all works out!!
because of the Huskies win at provincials a week ago, myself and my teammates Chantal and Haydn, got interviewed by the metro to hear about our successes! it was very fun and the reporter was very friendly and bubbly and made the interview comfortable for all of us. It was a fun experience and we ended up making the front page!!
this weekend I participated in the annual high school dragon boat competition. this was my third year doing it. my boat wasn’t very good but we had a lot of fun! the weather was a little strange, on and off raining of sun shining. eventually it started downpouring, thundering and hailing. everyone packed into the big tent set up and the tent ended up flooding. all in all the whole day was quite the experience and I can’t wait til next year!! I also embraced the selfie stick my friend brought!!
this past weekend I had the privilege to help be apart of Winnipeg the high school provincial championship for girls soccer!! unfortunately I couldn’t play because of my knee injury but I supported from the bench as the girls made it through semi’s and finished off finals with an intense shoot out!! such a great group of girls I got to work with and I couldn’t be more proud to be a husky!!
My bucket list has a variety of different types of things on it. a fair share of it has to do with travelling to far destinations. there is nothing I love more than seeing new places and experiencing the culture of that place. I wish travelling wasn’t to much money, because that’s all I would ever do whenever I got the chance. Another big majority of my list items are doing spontaneous adventures. I really would like to start doing more spontaneous things without thinking too much about it. I find I think every situation through way too much, and I wish I could just do stuff and worry about the consequences later. Living like that may get me in trouble but it’s always a good story to tell the next few days. I want to start living so that I can have a few good stories to tell when I’m older. A few items on my list include doing things for other people like donating blood and going on a volunteer mission. Doing good things for other people not only makes them happy, but makes you happy as well. The point of my bucket list is to live my life so I can experience new things, have good stories to tell, make other people happy, and find happiness within myself.
bucket list
1. back packing in Europe
2. go to santorini Greece and walk up a mountain
3. go to Australia and see a kangaroo
pay back my mom for everything she’s given
4. go to New York and see Times Square
5. sky diving
6. get married
7. have children
8. go to Venice beach
9. see hozier live in concert
10. go to the Amazon forest
11. go on an African Safari
crowd surf
12. learn a new language
13. parasailing
14. hot air balloon
15. swim with dolphins
16. horseback riding on a beach
17. fall in love
18. become a mother
19. meet Emma Watson
20. go to an Ellen show
21. make an impact in someone’s life
22. sponsor a child from world vision
23. get a degree in something
24. get a job that I love
25. be a maid of honour for my best friends wedding
26. learn another language
27. go on a road trip with my friends in a hope van
28. take a vacation with my best friend
28.Vegas with fab 5
29. gondola ride in Venice
30. see this Eiffel Tower
31. put a lock on the lock bridge
see the Hollywood sign in person
31. New Year’s Eve in Times Square
32. be around long enough to see my grandkids
33. go to folk fest
34. Harry Potter marathon without stopping to take a break
35. go to the small towns that Nicholas Sparks books are written
36. go on a night long spontaneous adventure like in paper towns
37. get a meaningful tattoo
38. sleep under the stars
39. go scuba diving in the coral reef
40.go to England and make a phone call in one of those red phone boxes
41. accidently end up in jail for the night because I didn’t someone stupid but not totally illegal
42.learn how to play guitar
43. catch a last minute flight to a random destination
44. witness a miracle
45. run a marathon
46.successfully pull off a surprise party for a friend
47.go on a volunteer mission to
build schools
48. play college soccer
49. wrap a snake around my neck Britney Spears style
50. get called up on stage at a concert
51.ride in a helicopter
52.rope swing into water
53. ask a complete stranger what they want to do before they die
54. Sing at a karaoke night
55. attend a same sex wedding
56. give blood
57. donate an organ or bone marrow
58. be rich but also marry rich
59. travel to India and participate in Holi festival
60. be an extra in a movie
61. send a message in a bottle m
62.go paint balling
63. tour a Mayan ruin
In a Blink of an Eye
“Oh my gosh, that party was so fun! I can’t believe you kissed Josh, Melanie. He’s way too cute!” Lena exclaimed, her blonde curls bouncing.
I giggled excitedly at the thought of Josh, who was far too good-looking for his own good.
“If I have to hear another one of these stories, I’m getting out of this car right now” said Charlie rolling his eyes, his hands firmly gripping the wheel.
I smiled as Charlie continued driving down the dark street lit road as time ticked into the late hours of the night. There weren’t many cars or people out probably because it was late, but also because we lived in the small town of Kintin, population 3000, so there wasn’t a lot of people in general. Charlie, Lena and I had lived here our whole lives.
We had been best friends since we first met in the sandbox on the second day of Miss Kay’s kindergarten class. Charlie asked me why my hair was so red and Lena responded by saying she thought it was pretty because it reminded her of a lady bug. Charlie said he liked lady bugs and the rest is history. Now here we were, senior year, inseparable. Lena had the classic blonde hair and blue eyes combo, and an infectious laugh which radiated into her infectious and bubbly personality. The older she got, the more fearless and adventurous she became. I envied her for being so outgoing, because I was quite the opposite. I was shy and timid and liked to hang out at home. We balanced each other out. Whenever I didn’t want to go on one of her wild adventures, she would say “Come on, Mel. Be fearless. Be free.” She kept me from being too boring and I kept her from dreaming too big. Charlie was a good mix of the both of us. As we got older, his dark, sand coloured hair and bright blue eyes lit up a room and had a sweet smile that made all the girls in our school melt. He was smart, tall and athletic, a high school girl’s dream come true. He had a lot of others friends, but we were by far his favourite. Despite our differences though, the three of us were a package deal, the three musketeers, three blind mice or whatever famous trio you can think of. Of course we had other friends, but we’d always find our way back to the small café on 8th avenue every Friday after school.
As we continued driving down the lonely road in my mother’s Grand Caravan, Lena babbled away in the passenger seat about the latest gossip she’d heard at the party. Charlie slowed to a stop at the stop sign and accelerated into a left turn and continued down the street two away from mine. Suddenly out of nowhere, bright yellow swerving headlights flash into our eyes and Lena screamed. The adrenaline surging through Charlie’s body caused him to jerk the wheel to avoid the head on collision. In the matter of an instant the vehicle slammed into the passenger side of the vehicle causing it to flip onto its side. My head snapped back, my ears is filled with the agonizing screams of my own voice and the voices of my two best friends. At the final sight of Lena lying beside me, eyes half-open, and blood oozing through the side of her head, everything went black.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
My eyes fluttered open to the bright fluorescent lighting of a hospital room, the vague smell of old people and medical equipment overwhelm my nose.
Why am I in a hospital? What happened? My thoughts are occupied with a million questions that I’m far too exhausted to think harder about.
In my peripheral vision, I can see that I’m attached to endless amounts of wires and tubes and before I can turn my neck to see further, my eyes flutter shut, my head hit the pillow and everything went black.
My eyes pop open and I’m no longer attached to wires in a hospital room. Instead, everything is bright white and clean. There is no one in sight, just an oblivion of white nothingness. I find myself sitting on a white bench wearing a blue floral dress, my red hair draping my shoulders. Where am I? I spun around to the sound of light footsteps behind me. It’s Lena, in her entirety, a white, flowy, angelic sundress flowing behind her.
“Lena? What’s going on? Where are we?” I asked.
“Hey Mel.” She said simply, completely disregarding my confusion.
“What happened?”
“We were in a car accident, me, you and Charlie. You’re both okay, but I’m not.”
“What do you mean? You look fine to me?” I asked, confused.
“I’m dead. I died in the crash on impact”
“What? How? No, no, no! You can’t be dead!” I cried, my eyes filling with tears.
“Don’t be upset. Don’t cry. I’m okay. I need you to be strong. I love you, Melanie. Please save him.”
“Who are you talking about? Who’s him?”
“You’ll know when you see it. Please save him.”
With that Lena simply smiled, turned around and walked away.
“Lena?”
My eyes fluttered open to the same hospital room and a plump blonde middle-aged lady.
“Oh look who decided to wake up! Hello Melanie! I’m Nurse Nancy!” said the lady, excitedly. Nurse Nancy’s high pitched voice and chipper attitude was far too much for me to handle. “My goodness, how are you feeling? I hope you’re feeling great, it’s a beautiful day!”
“What happened to me?” I questioned her.
“Well you were in a car accident and you’ve suffered some minor injuries too your head and abdomen. We still need to run and few tests and will keep you here a little longer for observation. You’ll be good to go in no time!” explained Nurse Nancy.
“Where are my friends?”
“Charlie is in the next room over in 10E8 and he is doing about the same as you.”
“And Lena?”
She paused awkwardly for a few seconds before replying.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. She didn’t make it. I’ll leave you alone now, press the nurse’s button if you need me.”
So it was true. Dream Lena wasn’t lying and real life Lena was actually dead. I can’t believe it. My best friend, my platonic soul mate, my partner in crime, was gone. Charlie was driving, but of course it wasn’t his fault. It was that stupid other driver, so reckless, so careless, that took my best friends life. But who was she talking about that I needed to save? Why did he need saving?
Suddenly, my eyes exploded with endless tears and painful sobs escaped me.
A few later, after my slight meltdown, and after my family swarmed me with hugs and presents, I looked out the window of my tenth floor room and noticed how high up I was, and how small Kintin seemed from up here. There was a soft knock on my door Charlie slowly strolled in, hand clutching his IV cart, his 6’2 strong body, looking small and weak beneath his hospital gown.
“Hey Mel,” Charlie said softly, his sandy hair disheveled on his head. “How are ya doing?”
“I’m okay, what about you?” I replied.
“Well I’ve definitely been better, that’s for sure.”
“I saw her, Charlie. I saw her in my dream.”
“It was my fault, Mel. I killed her. I was driving that vehicle. I took our best friends life,” he whispered.
“Are you kidding? That could have happened to anyone! You weren’t driving recklessly at all. This was not your fault, okay?”
He stared at me, tears forming in the corner of his big eyes. Twelve years of friendship, and this was the first time I’d ever seen Charlie cry.
“Whatever, it’s fine. It’s getting late, I think I need some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow, ‘night Melanie.”
I curled up under the covers, as soon as he left. He was right, it was getting late, almost 12 am, I was exhausted.
Why did this have to happen? Lena was a far better person that anyone I had ever met. She was constantly looking out for others and putting everyone before herself. This shouldn’t have happen. It was unnatural, cruel, and heartless.
My bitter thoughts absorbed me as I eventually fell into a deep slumber.
I’m back in the same bright and white endless void. I’m wearing the same blue floral dress. I turn around, searching for Dream Lena. She’s far off into the distance, sprinting towards me.
“MELANIE!!!” she screams, approaching me.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Melanie, wake up! Wake up!” Lena said urgently, her eyes wide and frantic. “Save him! I told you to save him. Wake up right now or you’ll be too late! WAKE UP!”
“What? Who am I supposed to be saving??” I asked, still so confused.
“Charlie! Save him! Please wake up and save him, or else you’ll be dreaming of both of us.”
I woke with a scream, my heart racing outside of my chest, my skin damn with sweat.
Where was Charlie? What could I do? What did she mean I would dream of both of them? Why did he need saving?
I get up quickly out of bed, which I immediately regretted as my entire head began to spin.
I needed to find Charlie. Maybe Lena was wrong, but she wasn’t wrong last time.
I grabbed my IV cart and walked as quickly as my weak body would carry me out through my door and into the dimly lit hallway, my red hair a tangled mess on my head. There was a few nurses at a far desk to my left so I quickly slipped behind a hall to avoid them. Nurse Nancy said Charlie’s room was the one next to mine, but I couldn’t remember the room number she said. I slip into the room to the right of mine, only to see catch a glimpse of a young girl around the age of six curled up with a pink furry CareBear fast asleep.
Ok definitely not Charlie, it must be the room on the other side.
I walk as fast as I could to the other on the other side of me hoping to avoid the nurses. The door is closed but not locked when I turn the knob and enter the room.
Oh my god, my head hurts.
A cold rush of air hits me and I almost fell over. The room dark and the window was wide open, curtains flowing in the wind.
“Charlie?” My voice barely a squeak.
“Go away please.” A hoarse rough unrecognizable voice from near the bathroom.
I walked towards the voice. Charlie, his large body shriveled up, was clutching a bottle of pills. His face red and blotchy clearly from crying, his eyes bloodshot as the tears roll down his face.
“Oh my god, Charlie. What are you doing?”
“I can’t live without her, Melanie. I can’t live for the rest of my life knowing I was responsible for ending Lena’s life.”
“Well that does not mean you should end yours, Charlie! This was not your fault. It was no one’s fault. Please don’t do this! You have so much to live for. I don’t want suicide to be an option here. I know it sucks right now, but Lena wouldn’t want you to do this. She wants you to live, she told me! She told me to save you.” I said desperately, tears rolling down my cheeks.
“I already tried. I wanted to jump out the window, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it,” he said quietly.
“Charlie, please. Just hand me the pills, we’ll call a nurse. We’ll get you help as soon as we can, okay?” I took a small step towards him.
“I don’t want to live anymore, Melanie. Her death will be hanging over me my entire life!” He started raising his voice.
Then suddenly, before I knew what was happening, Charlie started opening the bottle and bringing it towards his mouth.
“NO” I screamed, diving towards the nurse’s button, then pounced towards him. I grabbed the bottle out of his hand, pills half in his mouth, half flying everywhere. My head flying against the bed railing and the last thing I heard before everything went black for the third time in 3 days was Charlie’s soft whimpers and hard footsteps running down the hallway.
My white, clean endless room is back except I’m curled up on the ground instead of on a bench. I sat up, my vision focusing in on Lena’s pale freckled face.
“I knew you would understand what I was trying to tell you. Get him mental help as soon as you can, and maybe get yourself some help too. It’s time to stop dreaming of me,” Lena said.
“What if I don’t want to stop dreaming of you? I still can’t accept that you’re gone. This is some sick dream, no one should have to lose their best friend and almost lose another in such a short period of time,” I said desperately.
“It’ll be okay, Mel. Please don’t mope around after you and Charlie are better. I want you to live your life for the both of us. Do all the things that we talked about doing but never had the chance to do. Finish off senior year, and get out of this town like we said we would. Go on adventures that will be a great story to tell in a few years. Be fearless, and be free. Don’t only do it for me, do it for Charlie, and do it for yourself. I love you, Melanie. I’m so lucky to have had the privilege of having a friend like you. I’ll always be with you if you need me. Please don’t ever forget me.”
She smiled her Lena smile and turned away.
I woke up, curled up back in my hospital bed. I sat up in bed, and thought about the events of the past few days. I was in a car crash with my two best friends, one of which died and the other was supposedly okay until he tried to kill himself afterwards. I’ve been dreaming of my dead best friend and I don’t know whether or not that’s due to my head trauma or I’m just going crazy. I should definitely go see a counselor about that, and get Charlie help as well. Lena was right. I couldn’t sit around and mope. I had to take this bad event in my life and learn how to better myself from it. Learn how I can help not only myself get through it, but Charlie as well. We had to be strong together. I had to pick myself and figure out that I can’t take things for granted anymore because everything could change in a blink of an eye. I have to cherish the little things, like a warm sunny day, or making someone laugh, because those little things turn out to be the big things when your life gets a little sour.
I struggle out of bed and into the wheelchair next to my bed because I did not have the energy to walk anywhere but I needed to get out of this room. In my peripheral vision, I caught a yellow glimpse of sticky notes on the desk across the room that I didn’t think were there earlier, so I wheeled myself over to the desk.
On the top sticky note, there was a message in black Sharpie cursive that said:
“Be fearless, and be free. – L “
I smiled to myself, wondering where the note came from, but also knowing exactly where it came from. Even though it would take time, Charlie and I would be okay again.
I will be fearless. I will be free. For you, Lena.
jenna zappia 